Reflexiones

lunes, 14 de enero, 2013

Well, home sweet home.

I was originally planning on staying in Argentina one year, give or take.  But there were various factors pressuring me to stay for less time.  Yes, homesickness was a factor, as was me getting tired of being by myself (traveling and exploring is great… but it’s better with someone else).  But there were greater factors too.

My goals were to get more experience abroad, do some traveling, teach English, and improve my Spanish. I'd already accomplished all that, although of course if I stayed longer my Spanish would’ve definitely kept improving... but I had to decide what would be best for me in the long run.

I did love it there, but what I've learned from all my (various) travels is that I'm definitely an American... I enjoyed my “gap” six months, but I know my life will be in the US. Thus I had to decide when would be a good time for me to come back to reality.  I either dilly dally in the US (where there's the possibility of finding a job or other experience, meeting people/making connections, etc.), or in Argentina, where although I could keep practicing Spanish, I’d also (inevitably) keep spending more money.

In all honesty part of me felt tired.  I was tired living in a culture that wasn’t my own, tired of Argentina's political and economical problems, even tired of traveling and sight-seeing.  I lived there for 6 months. That's pretty substantial. 

I also feel like, with my birthday, and running my half marathon, and spending the holidays with Maia, and Maia leaving for Australia-- I’ve ended in a good time, on a really good note.  I have a lot of positive closure... you know?  Maybe if I went to Mendoza, I would’ve loved it, found a good job that paid well, made lots of friends, and all that... but what if I ended up hating it?  And if I wouldn’t be putting 100% into my life there... why stay?     

Another thing is that we don't know how long my grandfather is going to live... My dad is going to visit him every couple months now.  I haven't seen him in over a year, and part of me feels like this just isn't the best time to be living abroad.

I did also just miss the U.S... my own culture... my own country... all that.

So that describes the whirlwind of thoughts that were going around in my head… and then I got a wave of news that made the decision for me.  One of my color guard girls who I taught at Legends this past summer passed away on New Years due to complications with her heart condition.  Her name was Maisie and January 3^rd would have been her 18^th birthday.  When I was informed, it was as if someone up above was proving to me that it was time for me to return.  Fortunately, I was able to book a flight home in time to attend her funeral service.

This is a picture that was taken during one of my last nights with Legends this summer, at a community performance.  Maisie is on the far left.  She was such an amazing person, with a strong spirit that inspired everyone around her.  May she be at peace now, and all of God’s blessings to her family and friends!

Immediately upon returning, I felt confident that I am supposed to be here now.  I was picked up from the airport by one of my Alpha Gamma Delta sisters, and I was surrounded by people from Legends at Maisie’s service, which provided an intense amount of support.  I wouldn’t have either of these two networks if I was in Argentina!  Even if this situation wasn’t ideal, I’m glad God used it to bring me home.

And it does feel good to be back.  I’ve been able to visit with family and friends.  Maybe more than anything this crazy flash of deciding to come home has taught me the value of the people in our lives.  Going off on adventures, and growing professionally, and doing great things, can all be amazing.  But I believe one of the purposes of life is to express the love you have for the people dear in your life.  And that’s something that’s really hard to do when you’re on the opposite side of the globe. 

Maybe this sounds funny, but I’m still having to adjust back to life in the U.S.  This is called “reverse culture shock”, and although I did experience it when I came back from my semester abroad in Spain, it feels much stronger now.  Mainly because I spent more time in Argentina, and my experiences were much stronger.  I really did immerse myself in the country and its language and culture.  And some of those cultural aspects are still sticking with me, or I’m at least comparing them with the way we do things here…

I know I’ll travel abroad again.  I don’t know when, but it will happen, I’m sure!  I hope to keep in touch with the friends I made in Argentina, especially Maia and Diego.  Hopefully I’ll get to meet up with them again, whether it be during a trip back to Argentina, or to somewhere else on the globe!

Thank you Argentina for all my amazing adventures and experiences!  Both the good and the bad have helped to grow me.  And my next life adventure (whatever that may be)… may it do the same!